Radical Fulfilment

Uncertainty – striving to let go

I’m a bit of a control freak (yeh, I know…). Right now there’s an awful lot of uncontrollable stuff. I can’t control the outcome of whether the people I love catch COVID-19, or whether I do. I can’t control the outcome if we do. I can’t control whether I feel grief and sadness for the face-to-face conversations I can’t have. I can’t control whether the shops have what we would like to eat or not. If you know who is hoarding flour please let me know!

Controlling things is how I try to manage fear. But ‘what you focus on grows’ so the more I try to control things because I’m staring into fear, the bigger the fear gets. What I need to do is let go. Let go of needing to control – accept that I can’t control it anyway and deal with immediate needs. What I need and want right now is rest, nourishment and space/time to spend with those I care about using the wonders of technology. Staying stuck in fear ain’t fun, and the way out of fear is to take small steps.

How are you dealing with the uncertainty around you right now? What tips do you have?

If you, or someone you know, would like some space to talk about what’s happening for you right now and come away with a boost of confidence and clarity, I’ve got a few free spaces available as a gift in these strange times. Get in touch.

Go well x

Uncategorized

In the midst of a pandemic – take time for your soul

‘Whether or not we belong to any religious or spiritual tradition, there is a renewed awareness of the need to take care not just of our physical health but our mental, emotional and spiritual health — to take care of our souls.’ – Arianna Huffington

I’ve struggled this week with mental, emotional and physical exhaustion from sleep deprivation. It’s the result of caring for my daughter all night while she was ill (she’s getting better now). I wouldn’t begrudge a second if it. And exhausting nevertheless.

Throw that on top of living in isolation in the midst of a global pandemic and you have an interesting cocktail. If you’ve ever been so tired that it feels like the fabric of your insides is somehow coming undone and your brain has shaken loose, that’s kind of how I felt.

I chose to put my superwoman tendencies to one side and ask for help. I asked for alone time. I took a walk for my daily exercise. I found a small corner at home to sit, read, pray, meditate and reflect. It wasn’t long and it didn’t need to be. Those precious moments were the difference between taking care of my soul needs and eventual burn out. It was a powerful lesson for me.

How are you taking care of your soul in these challenging times? What do you need more or less of to help you do that? Who could you turn to, or talk to? It’s not about big steps, it’s about small decisions, quiet voices, tiny changes – those are the ones that add up to seismic shifts.

Go well. x

career change

What To Do When You Want To Change Career But Don’t Know Where To Start

Image result for leaving work

It’s Friday evening. You grab your stuff and get out of your workplace as fast as your legs will carry you without actually running.  Your relief is palpable.  You can’t wait to get out of there so your real-life can start.  Sad, but true right? And the real truth is you’ve known for a long time you want out, you want to do something different.  But what?

This is exactly what stumps so many, many people right at the start of their career changes. I know I don’t want THIS, and I don’t know what I DO want. It’s easy to get lost in a diet of Google searches, career change books and personality profiles.  All good resources in their own way and none of them have the magic answers. Worse, no-one is going to turn up with your new career on a silver platter wrapped up with a bow on top. Yep, it’s really not going to happen – no matter how much you want it.

The problem with these approaches is not that they are inherently bad, it’s just that they keep you stuck in your head – stuck in overthinking and over-analysing.  If you’re prone to procrastination, you’ll recognise this trait and know how much it holds you back from making progress. Career change does not happen when you only sit and think about it. Career change happens when you stick your head out from underneath the blanket of analysis and start doing something that takes you out of your own head and into real-life experience.

If you want to change career, stop thinking about changing career. Stop searching ‘how to change career’. Instead, try some of these ideas to get you out of your head and into the world, meeting new people and exploring what ideas for your career change open up when you do.

Try these real world ideas:

  • Go to an event, workshop or one day course you would never normally go to (Meetup is a great place to find ideas);
  • Take a different route to work – notice what draws you to it with a sense of interest or excitement, or inspires you;
  • Ask a friend for a recommendation of a Podcast you haven’t listened to before;
  • Get in touch with someone who inspires you, or who you would love to have a conversation with about what they do, even if you don’t think you want to do what they do – you’ll never know what little nuggets of inspiration or ideas or contacts they can offer you until you do (tip: offer them something in return, it can be super simple and a little personal touch to help you stand-out from the crowd).

If you’re still stuck in over-thinking and would like more ideas, let’s have a conversation about how I could help you with your career change – I’m always open to talking.

Radical Fulfilment

Comparison Is A Killjoy

“I am not throwing away my shot!” exclaims Alexander Hamilton in the mega-hit Broadway and West End musical, Hamilton.  It’s an admirable sentiment.  How many times a day, a week, a month do you do just that by comparing your life, your career, your possessions, your body, your clothes or your successes (or lack) to someone else?

How do you feel when you do? If you’re prone to over-analysing or have a strong perfectionist or achiever streak (hello, yes that’s me too – nice to meet you) you probably start feeling pretty rubbish.  Social media is full of pinnacle moments – those moments where we show the world our happy highlights, not the gritty drudgery of daily life.  How many times have your friends shared pictures of the sink piled high with dishes, the overflowing washing basket or the Inbox with 3,000 unread emails?  Yes, I thought not.

Someone wise once said (it is probably not Teddy Roosevelt although some sources say it is) ‘Comparison is the thief of joy‘.  Why?  Because as soon as we start comparing ourselves to others we start to notice the ways we don’t measure up, the ways we are inferior and it sucks all the joy and happiness from us, like a Dementor sucking souls in J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter stories.  This is YOUR journey through life, no-one else’s.  No-one else is even half as capable as you are of living your one and only life.  So stop comparing. Go out and do YOUR thing!

See the source image

How do you stop the comparison killjoy in its tracks?  Here are a few ideas:

  • Write down at least 5 things you’re grateful for – keep it simple;
  • Take a deep breath and get present to what’s going on for you in this one moment, and the next as it happens;
  • Have an image in your mind you can focus on.  Whatever we focus on grows, so shift your focus onto something else – a calm sea, a forest, a surfer on the waves, your favourite coffee;
  • Take action – comparison sometimes reminds us it’s time not to throw away our own shot at life, and when it does get into action and do something small to get you started along the path towards your big dreams;
  • Laugh – yes, I know – and laughter really is the best medicine.

How do you shake off your killjoy comparison monster?  Let me know below!

If you want clarity on your own journey through life, let’s speak.

(Image visionpt.com.au)
career change

15 Things You Can Do To Change Career

I remember exactly what it felt like to spend an entire working day in the growing hope that there must be something else out there I was better suited to than the work I was currently doing.  Every meeting I went to, where we all dressed as clones in our black suits and made polite small talk over lunch about the weather/sporting prowess, I kept thinking how much I wanted to wear bright colours, my scruffy blue jeans and orange converse and have more important in-depth conversations.

Unlike many career changers I didn’t actually hate my career or my current job.  I got a lot of satisfaction from everything I achieved in my role and I had the privilege of working with wonderfully supportive, good-humoured and hard-working people. I was just convinced I had a lot more to offer than I could give in my career in international tax. And so my career change journey began.

I’ve had a lot of personal experience, and experience from being part of the journeys of other career changers. So, here are 15 things you can do to change career…

  1. Decide you actually really want to change career.  Realise instantly you don’t actually have a clue what you DO want to do.
  2. Get onto Google and quickly type in “what to do to change career”.  Feel overwhelmed by the number of positive searches.  Take a deep breath and read at least twenty articles on all the things you need to do.  Make a list of all those things. Add to it over the following week.  Ponder how many times you’ve written the word ‘research’ or ‘analyse’. Notice how many times you’ve written down ‘update your CV’.
  3. Load up your CV and stare at it for three days wondering how you can make yourself look good to future employers. Update CV for your latest project and tweak the font type five times to make it look good. Feel proud of yourself for taking action.
  4. Google all the job titles you think sound interesting.  Get sucked into regret for not having looked at these when you started your career.  Whatever were you thinking of for not following a career in catering when you were 18 and obsessed with literature.  Feel sad and buy yourself a latte or a bottle of wine to console yourself.
  5. Tell your family and friends you want to change career and let them know in no uncertain terms you are very excited.  Admit after a few rounds of questions you don’t actually know what you want to do next. Add a mess of doubts, challenges and fears to your growing pot of career change emotional chaos. Decide to give up on career change… at least until the alarm goes off to drag you out of bed and into work the following morning.
  6. Spend three weeks reviewing and analysing options for degree and masters courses in ten different subjects you know you’ll need to change career and create a brand-new spreadsheet including the length, cost, modules covered, and any other interesting pieces of information.  Feel depressed that career change is going to cost you a fortune and you’ve no idea if you really want to do that ‘thing’ anyway.  Delete the spreadsheet.
  7. Go on a shopping spree to make yourself feel better. Return and decide you can’t afford a career change anyway.
  8. Do an online personality test (even though you’ve already had at least one done at work). Decide that it’s: 100% correct, a total load of rubbish, or you must have completed it wrong. Do at least one more.
  9. Write down a list of all your skills you could take into a new job under the heading ‘My transferable skills and talents’.  Review your list five times and each time cross one off as not really being a ‘skill’ or a ‘talent’, and become increasingly convinced your only hope is to stay exactly where you are.
  10. Get excited when a Google search in your lunch break brings up some amazingly inspirational quotes.  Create a new Instagram post and print it out to stick on your fridge at home. Read it the following morning and never notice it ever again.
  11. Buy yourself books on how to change career.  Pick one, underline at least 50% of the text and continue reading excitedly until 2am when it wakes you up when you drop it heavily onto your face.  Decide to use the stash of books as a makeshift bedside table.
  12. Sign up to updates from at least ten inspirational people including career change coaches and organisations.  Spend the following week constantly deleting the emails arriving on a daily basis, fail to have time to read the so-called inspiring articles and struggle to find the ‘unsubscribe’ button.
  13. Decide it’s time to hire your own career change coach.  Feel very proud of this powerful action. Google ‘career change coach’, become totally overwhelmed at the number of people and pick the third one on the list because they have a nice sounding name and a slick website. Have a couple of free introductory coaching calls and decide you can do this all by yourself without anyone else, thank you very much.  Feel incredibly confident and capable.
  14. Make an appointment with a recruitment consultant, or your HR team at work, and explain how much you want to make a career change.  Present your updated CV proudly, clearly set out the remaining two transferable skills you’ve identified and ask them to send you job opportunities in x, y or z new fields.  Never hear from them again, or receive twenty job opportunities the same afternoon in exactly the same line of work you’re already in. Resolve never to speak to them again. Have a similar conversation the following week with a different agency/HR person. Totally give up on changing career. It’s obviously not for you.  Feel thoroughly ineffective and incapable. Go to bed early.
  15. Have a bad day at work. Go home and drink a lot of wine. Have an amazing revelation. You’re going to change career… back you go to number 1…

Sounds like fun, eh?

If you’ve had enough of staying stuck in a cycle of inaction, over-analysis and frustration, and you’re ready to try something different, check out my Career Change Programme, and let’s talk.

I’m also the Lead Coach on Careershifters’ next Career Change Launch Pad starting on 5 October 2019. It’s the world’s longest-running group-based career change course, and a very different way of going about your career change.