‘To set my coordinates’ – my client, when asked what had been valuable in our time together today.
I never used to set any coordinates (usually I sort of fell into opportunities) or if I did set them they were often set by tradition or expectation because it’s ‘what everyone does’.
I’ve always fought against traditional expectations. 😂
My favourite question. My English literature teacher at A level was not happy by my continual questioning of why her interpretation had to be THE interpretation.
Why does it have to be that way?
In life, in career it often doesn’t. It’s expected that it will be, and that’s all. Expected.
I don’t want to live my life by someone else’s expectations of what I’m going to do next. I don’t want to make my life small because tradition says that’s what you do. I don’t want to make choices that aren’t aligned with what I really want or who I really am because someone else says that’s not how it’s done.
I want to align with my own coordinates and my own choices.
It’s not always comfortable and it can sometimes feel lonely, especially if you don’t have the support of others on the journey. And it is SO worth it to create your own path!! It’s why I’ve found it so incredibly helpful to work with various different coaches over the last few years to support me in setting and aligning my own coordinates to make the choices I want to make for me, for my family, and for our future. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary to step out into the big beyond.
This time yesterday I was exhausted, fraught and watching my energy drain away. Because I was tired and in need of some FUN as much as I needed some sleep.
I had both. Not as much as I would like in an ideal world – and a boost of it. I shut off the energy drains. Well, taking those actions of interacting with other people in a way that was fun and meaningful, and getting more sleep, shut off those energy drains.
So much more feels possible today because I took the decisions that felt least comfortable yesterday. I didn’t ‘push’ through because that wouldn’t help either. I gently accepted what either had to be or what I needed and then brought me and all my messiness of tiredness and uncertainty and playful (low) energy to the table.
I brought all of me, in that moment and the next and the next.
I didn’t try to be someone I wasn’t in that moment. I didn’t give up and hide in a hole. I was, as I was, with all the messy feelings I had and I showed up anyway.
I showed up anyway.
And then I took care of what I thought I needed most (it turned out to be what I also needed, rather than most) and packed myself off to bed with a gentle wind-down routine.
I didn’t push.
I didn’t give up.
I showed up.
I was me in that moment.
I took care of my needs.
I woke up brighter, more energised and clearer on what I need and want to focus my energy on.
That’s self-leadership. That’s being the Queen of my own life.
I spent a chunk of today feeling totally exhausted and not at all looking forward to co-facilitating a group coaching call this evening. I mean really, REALLY not wanting to do it. I wanted to go to bed.
Except it turns out I didn’t 😂.
Because when I got to the call I burst into life. Friggin loved it! All those faces, all those people to support and shine a light on their brilliance and how they already have what they need if only they lean into it. I remember why I do this work – because I LOVE it and I thrive on it. It’s sooo energising (even when I’m tired).
I made up a story about the call that wasn’t at all how it was going to be or turned out to be. I wasted so much energy on feeling meh about it, and it was FUN!!! 😂 I know this and I see this – and I don’t always catch myself letting my energy drain away down the plug hole. Today I missed it and off went my energy… And tomorrow is another day to slow down and notice when I’m creating a story that doesn’t serve me instead of watching my energy wander off!
I’m on a mission to bring them together as one unique thing. I don’t know what it looks like. I don’t even have the foggiest idea how…yet 😂. What I know is that all those parts of me together are what make me ME and that I am, in my own way, unique.
All the answers would be brilliant…. And boring!! Where’s the fun in knowing how it all works out before you begin?!
I’m not here to be you. I’m here to be ME. Yes, in CAPITALS!!!
One of my clients had a transformative moment in our conversation today.
What have you learned?
‘The choice is mine.’
Yes, yes, YES!!!
The joy in her face was palpable. Her eyes were shining with a totally beautiful energy. The energy of self-belief, her own amazing power and all the possibilities that owning who she really is brings alive.
It wasn’t the fact that she HAS a choice. She always had that available to her. Today she felt it, she experienced it, she knew it deep inside. And now she WANTS more of that.
It’s an absolute honour to watch her rise in her power .
You might not be ready for transformation. Last year she wasn’t either. That’s ok. When you’re ready, we should talk.
If you are not ready, and you have a hunch someone you know is, I’d love it if you’d share this, or another post of mine you think might support them in some way, and let them know I am always happy to connect and talk.